This used to really chip away at my self confidence because being ‘popular’ was how I valued self worth.
In my opinion, all of the popular people had lots of friends and were liked by everyone.
So in the back of my mind I wondered if I was an unworthy candidate to be ‘chosen’ as a friend by most people.
In school, how many friends you had was a measure of how cool you were. After school, being liked by everyone was a measure of self worth to me.
But the truth is, I can’t sustain a lot of friendships at once. I like to have one or two special friends…and then I’m maxed out.
I don’t do well in group conversation and if I have to small talk with someone I pretty much can’t think of anything to say after ‘how are you’?
At social events (think weddings and funerals) it’s a struggle because jumping from person to person having snippets of meaningless conversation does not come natural and is not my idea of a good time.
It has recently dawned on me that without trying to label myself one way or the other…it’s possible I’m not an unworthy candidate for friends, maybe I just have some introvert tendencies.
The more introvert descriptions come out in Ted talks, YouTube and social media…the more I can see myself in them.
Here is an example I found online of ‘introvert idiosyncrasies’…
- Many introverts identify as highly sensitive (HSP)
- Most introverts hate talking on the phone
- Introverts are often spiritual
- We have a tendency to overthink
- Many introverts love structure
- We prefer deep conversations over small talk
- Introverts tend to write better than we speak
Would you look at that…7 check marks for me.
This did not come as a surprise to my girlfriend when I announced it to her a couple of weeks ago…she already knew.
It amazes me how we think we are the problem… but a new piece of information can change everything.
I heard recently that we are who we think others think we are… not who others think we are…or who we think we are.
But now I just want to see me as me, and see value of who I am no matter what someone else’s opinion is.