There are always at least two sides to ever debate.
I have tried really hard to see both sides of the Covid debates on restrictions, masks and political decisions being made.
I am not going to lie, it is almost impossible to see the other side.
The beliefs on each side are very strong. And you really can not change another persons beliefs by forcing your own upon them.
Webster dictionary defines belief as: ” conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon especially when based on examination of evidence “.
There is evidence of your beliefs no matter what they are, and they were probably formed as a survival mechanism during a traumatic event.
The beliefs surrounding the issues today are deep seated and rooted in fear. They are primal beliefs that are important for all of us to come to terms with in our way and they are fueling the opinions of all of us.
And those very real fears that are driving our beliefs and opinions are also what are driving us apart.
I have several theories around all of this and why it might be happening that I won’t get into today, but suffice it to say we are being asked to rise.
We are being asked at a deeper level to understand each other, and in order to do that we need to use empathy.
Empathy is not an easy skill.
You can’t fly by the seat of your pants with it, and when your deepest fears and beliefs are being challenged, it takes enormous amounts of emotional labour and hard work to see the other side.
Why won’t people wear masks right now? Why do people wear masks right now?
I know my answer to those questions, but what is the other side?
Where can we come together?
Empathy.
Empathy is where we connect to the feelings to those on the other side. Sounds easy right? It’s not. And it has kept me very humble for years trying to practice empathy.
2020 has been a masterclass for all of us.
We can easily connect to feelings of joy, love, and peace because we soak them up when we feel them.
It is much harder to connect to feelings of fear, shame, pride, ego, revenge… we just don’t see ourselves in this light.
And, these feelings are painful. Not only do we run from them, we work really hard to avoid them, forget them, and block them out.
If you can’t see those feelings in yourself, you don’t have a hope of connecting to those feelings in others.
And so our society is separated. You are on one side or the other right now, and your friends on Facebook are posting things that you don’t agree with.
How do we use empathy right now?
We need to understand the fear that everyone is feeling. The fear feels and acts the same in all of us.
Yes we have different beliefs, opinions, and stories that are fueling that fear, but fear feels and acts the same way for everyone.
The fears arising right now are big ones (all fear feels big because the fear center in our brain is wired for survival. When we feel fear we automatically respond to it like its life or death. Do you see this in yourself? Pay attention, because it is true for all of us.)
Right now everyone is deeply afraid of losing something.
Some people are genuinely afraid of dying from Covid-19. This is primal. We are wired for survival.
Others aren’t afraid of dying themselves, but they are afraid of losing someone who they love and who loves them. This is also primal. We are community animals and need love.
Others are afraid of losing jobs or economic status which provide them with basic needs that are necessary for survival.
And others yet are afraid of losing their freedom. This answer from Quora explains freedom this way “We value freedom. It delivers us great happiness, prosperity, and utility. It makes us feel like entities worthy of respect, and like masters of our own destiny rather than slaves to another’s will. Captivity is abusive to our nature. Freedom is natural.”
These fears are real, and they are not completely rational when they are in the drivers seat.
We must learn how to manage fear.
We must learn that we have agency over our lives.
We must open our hearts and practice empathy.
Until we can all learn how our fear responses work, what the real threats are, how to take control of our own lives no matter what the environment is, and that we are in control of our health, our finances, and ultimately our own destiny… there will always be separation amongst us.
We are being asked to rise.
P.S. In the first 30 seconds of this video, Dr. Christianne Northrup talks about the COVID-19 vaccine and which chromosones it affects (spoiler: it will remove human empathy).