“I had a knowing. Deep down inside I knew I could be doing life better. But I wasn’t. I had lots of reasons excuses. The kids need me, I don’t have any money, it is not the right time, I don’t have enough time and on and on. But I knew I could do better with my gifts. I blamed it on the bad weather and the good weather, on the dark basement, on my computer, on my support network, or on my lack of support network. But deep down, and sometimes more clearly than others… it still nagged at me. I was playing it safe and I knew it.
I am not angry with myself for playing it safe. I honor the reasons I felt were important for me to play it safe. They were very good reasons at the time, but enough is enough. Now is the perfect time…. And now was always the perfect time. I choose myself. I pick me. No more hiding. No more playing it safe. No more putting ALL of my energy into supporting someone else’s dreams. Now, I will support my dreams as well, and learn as we go. Am I scared? Yes. (why do our dreams scare us?) But do I want to deny myself living a life that I have dared to dream? Not anymore. I’m not getting any younger or buying any more time. So here we go… Let’s leap.”
This was my very first blog post. Written in secret, on a google doc that I eventually shared with just a few people.3 years ago…
…its a long time, and yet only a drop in the ocean of life.
At the time I needed to speak my truth. To be as much of me as I could because I had forgotten who I was.
Along the way I’ve become a brand new person.
There is something magical about writing.It takes all of the thoughts that are spinning in your head and releases them. It forces you to take a thought full circle, and it is the best way I know to get objective about your own life.
This blog has changed me in ways I can’t explain, couldn’t imagine, and had no idea about.
I just wanted to start showing up.
Now that I’ve got this one well established, I feel like it’s time to show up again… in a new way.
I’m working on supporting more of my dreams.
What’s next?
Let’s see… By now it’s long overdue.