I have relied heavily on Tony Robbins words, “the reason you are suffering is because you’re focused on yourself”. It has shifted me several times from feeling sorry for myself, into what’s best for others.

When someone else is struggling I say it over and over to them. My mom used to always repeat a Wayne Dyer quote to me, “change the way you look at things and the things you look at change”, so I think I get this from her.

His words helps me break out of a selfish thought pattern, see the big picture and look for who else might be struggling. I’ve made some fairly costly errors by not seeing how others are hurting when I am also hurting. I don’t want to make this mistake again.

This quote helped me one Christmas when I was worried about waking up alone on Christmas morning. I was feeling sorry for myself because I hadn’t done anything wrong, I had given all I had, loved as much as I could, and yet the kids still wouldn’t be there when I woke up.

I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.

When I remembered Tony saying, “the reason you’re suffering is because you’re focused on yourself”, I started thinking about the kids. I wanted their Christmas to be special, I wanted them to be with people they love, and I wanted them to grow up and love Christmas like I do.

I didn’t want them to feel sorry for me because I was feeling sorry for me, that would undo everything I truly wanted for them. I was a big girl and I had plenty of options

I instantly shifted, and I’ve been ok at Christmas ever since.


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