They say that you completely change who you are every seven years.
Do you know what was happening in your life 7 years ago?
I do.
I remember it all quite clearly.
It was awful.
And it was full of possibility.
It was very scary.
And it was liberating.
It was exhausting.
And I was angry a lot of the time.
My husband and I separated in 2013.
Divorce is not easy. Nobody gets married thinking they will get divorced one day.
We all get married thinking we will love each other forever and find a way to make things work.
So when you figure out that isn’t actually what’s happening there is a lot of blame, and saving face, and anger.
Through the last seven years I have decided who I want to be, and a lot of those decision have come from being someone and making choices I wasn’t proud of.
I have healed so much. I did a lot of healing from the unhealthy parts of our marriage, but I also did a lot of healing from my childhood, friendships, social conditioning, and unhealthy beliefs.
I learned how to be brave. I’m still not brave all of the time, but I’m not afraid of being afraid anymore. That was a life changer for me.
I’ve read a lot of books. Many of them give the same message, but often we need to hear the same things over and over again. Timing is everything when we need to find clarity.
So here I am… 7 years later and still trying to get my act together all the while knowing that it likely never will be together.
I expect the only time we ever have it all together is when it’s over. Until then we just need to keep clearing the way, doing the best we can with where we are at.
I’ve learned the very best thing I can do is keep moving forward.
When I allow myself to feel stuck I fall into scarcity, overwhelm and fear. None of which are helpful for solving the next problem.
I can’t imagine the next 7 years being as transformative as the last 7, but I guess we won’t know that for a while yet.