About 20 minutes after I posted yesterday’s blog I wished I could completely rewrite it.
One of my thoughtful readers commented on Facebook and gave me some feedback that I agreed with and it immediately changed me.
Yesterday’s blog was about trying to let go of expectations because of a situation where I felt I had been let down… I wanted to not have any expectations so that I never had to feel let down. The moment I read Chads comment, I jumped to a new path.
Yes, we will always have expectations.
And yes, sometimes people will let us down.
Also yes… it is ok.
The solution then is not to drop all expectations of other people, but to be completely honest and clear about our expectations.
In my latest situation, I didn’t speak up to the person of authority and let them know what my expectation was. I couldn’t put my voice to it because I wasn’t clear enough and honest with myself going in.
The expectation was there, looming in my mind… but instead of giving it a voice I kept saying, “I don’t know what to expect”. This is where I started to go off track… I wasn’t being completely honest with myself.
I did have an expectation and an opinion.
My knee jerk reaction has always been to shut down and clam up. I’ve been working hard at showing up and speaking up, but as the pressure rises we can slip into survival mode and retreat to our old habits.
That’s what happened to me.
I didn’t speak up.
I didn’t tell the person of authority what my expectation was of him in his role and position of power.
In society it’s our job to hold each other accountable.
We can’t force another person to meet our expectations, but we need to give ourselves, and each other, a chance to meet them by bringing them into the light.
If I could have rewrote yesterday’s blog, that’s what I would have said.
Thanks Chad for your feedback. You helped me by speaking up.