I used to keep everything inside.
I wasn’t a fan of drama, and the more drama I was around, the less I wanted to be like that.
So I kept a brave face.
I didn’t want to be negative, so I didn’t complain.
So I made the best of the situation.
I thought it was important to be loyal to the people I had committed to … even if they were asking me to do things that wasn’t best for me. I agreed, and I didn’t complain.
I kept it all inside.
I was like a duck on the water. Everything looked normal, but underneath things were going a mile a minute.
I have learned how unhealthy that is. I have learned that people want to help, and they want to do what’s right.
I have learned that “people” are a lot like me.
Being honest with myself about what’s in my heart has been key… speaking that truth seems to be the answer. But it usually makes me cry.
I still wrestle with how to share my struggles and not come across like a dramatic negative nelly.
I would still rather help someone else than myself.
I have to push through the resistance inside of myself to be vulnerable, and each time I do it, I figure out a new piece of the puzzle.
Even though it’s hard, I know it’s better.
It builds connection.
It gives me strength.
And I never feel alone.
It’s worth it to learn how to navigate vulnerability.
It’s not worth it to internalize everything.