I grew up showing horses very competitively.
I always thought of it as a solo sport, I had my horse in the show pen with me but no other people. It always felt like it was us against them.
But the team of people it took to get me there was huge.
My mom never left my side, she was there every step of the way offering unending emotional support and she put on so many miles running around trying to keep me together.
My dad didn’t come to many of my horse shows, he stayed back and kept working in order to pay for what I was doing.
I had a husband and wife team that were my coaches, mentors and teachers. We battled it out together and they were equally as invested in my journey as I was, we struggled through the wins and losses together and they became family to me.
The other kids parents were also a part of my journey as they offered me accolades or encouragement, they housed me on the very rare occasion my mom couldn’t be there, they hunted my mom down when I couldn’t find her, and occasionally ran the odd errand for me, or fed me.
My Grandma didn’t get around well and because a horse show is like a marathon she didn’t make it to many, but when I had a really big win she would cry when we would call her to tell her about it.
The point of all of this is that nobody does it alone.
When they say it takes a village to raise a child, we need to understand that we are all children.
The person who is getting the glory always has a support team making things happen behind the scenes.
After my horse career was over, I somehow didn’t understand the value of the village.
I thought I had to do adulting all on my own, and I spent a lot of years trying to prove that I could.
I didn’t accept the help and support of others unless I was in a really big bind. I don’t ask for advice, I didn’t grab onto the hands offering help.
It took letting everything fall apart in order for me to be humbled enough to admit I couldn’t do it on my own.
Now I build community in all areas of my life.
I don’t parent alone, I don’t work alone, and I don’t grow alone.
That’s not to say I can’t stand on my own when I need to, but now I look for ways to help others, to be generous where I can, and to accept the generosity of others.
We need each other.
We need community.
I can see now we aren’t meant to do it alone.
We are always stronger together and when we find a common interest we can share the goal and bring our strengths together.
Mother Nature gives us the perfect example of the miracles we can create by joining together.
One living cell can only survive alone. But when communities of living cells join together to make the organs in our body, and those communities organs join together, a living being is created.
One leaf on a tree isn’t the same, neither is a flower with only one petal.
When we raise each other up, when we help our brother or sister, when we build our lives, our business, and our dreams together that’s when miracles happen.
How can you bring more community into your life?
“One hand washes the other.” – Seneca
“Constantly think of the universe as one living creature, embracing one being and soul; how all is absorbed into the one consciousness of this living creature; how it compasses all things with a single purpose, and how all things work together to cause all that comes to pass, and their wonderful web and texture.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations