I have 3 children, 2 sons (oldest) & 1 daughter (youngest).
I love being a mom. It has been my most favourtie job I’ve ever done. I love watching them grow, I love teaching them, and there is no better feeling than watching them triumph over their struggles. The whole parenting experience has been nothing short of miraculous for me.
I don’t know what its like to be a boy, so I was constantly amused by the things boys do. They play in the sand box and then stand up and pee outside of the sandbox and go back to playing in the sand box. They barely skip a beat
Every toy they play with has its own noise – doesn’t matter what it is, there is some sort of noise that comes out of a boys mouth when he plays with it.
The love to wrestle, shoot toys guns, and be super heros.
Boys are so fun! And experiencing life through their eyes was a pure joy for me
I do know what its like to be a girl. You would think this would have made having a girl easier – but in fact it made it harder.
I kept trying to fit my daughter in my mold. Horses are what made my teenage years wonderful, there is no better place to be and no better friend to have than a horse.
So I kept putting her on a horse. What girl wouldn’t want that?!
The answer is my girl. She did not want to ride horses and compete. But I couldn’t hear her. I wanted her to have a magical childhood like I had.
One day as she was trying to get me to hear her (apparently she had to speak really really loud in order to get me to hear her), she told me she didn’t want to ride horses.
That was not how I wanted our relationship to be… so I told her I would never take her to ride a horse again – she could quit.
I thought about all of that for a long time, and this is what I learned.
I never had that kind of relationship with my boys. I always asked them what they wanted to do and then I supported their wishes as best I could. I didn’t know how to be a boy so I let them take the lead and I helped them achieve whatever they were aiming for.
I knew how to be a girl, and I did a good job of being a girl. I had lots of success and happiness. I successfully grew into adulthood and loved being a mom. I had a good recipe… so I was forcing my recipe onto my daughter.
The day I figured that out, I stopped telling her how to be a girl, and started helping her get what she wanted out of life. I don’t have to like what she likes, I don’t have to agree with her choices, I just have to support her wishes and help her get where she wants to go.
That realization in me turned our whole relationship around… and that’s when I figured out that being a parent is truly just being a fan. We don’t know what is best for our kids, they do. Our role is simply to help them make the best choices to get there.
My daughter not only taught me how to be a better mom, but I am a better person because she is strong willed and brave enough to speak up.
Guess what? She now spends the whole summer with my mom and riding and looking after horses. She found her own way into what I consider a perfect childhood.