A child throwing a temper tantrum can be frustrating and sometimes embarrassing, but we don’t take it personally.
They can scream and kick, they might say they hate you or call you names, but we don’t consider it a personal attack.
The exact same behaviour from an adult or someone we consider an equal doesn’t land the same on us.
We take it personally, we feel threatened, and we lash out or turtle (I’ve personally always been in the turtle club).
I couldn’t see the similarities between an adult temper tantrum and a child temper tantrum for the longest time, and there are still times when an adult will catch me off guard.
As I’ve become less attached to other people’s emotional outbursts, and I have begun to learn how to separate my emotional self from someone else, it’s been shocking, and at times amusing to see how it is exactly the same underlying behaviour in both.
I’ve seen adults use a guilt trip, a pity party, yelling, crying, stomping their feet, and locking themselves in their rooms when they aren’t getting their way.
I often wonder if they have heard of compromise, negotiation or of considering the other persons feelings.
The one having the temper tantrum is always the most selfish, self centred, entitled and arrogant and they believe it’s ok to force their will in the name of what they want.
But this isn’t how the world works, and when I started to see it from this angle it became easier to boundary myself against it.
Whether they are an adult or a child, bad behaviour isn’t ok and we don’t have to allow it, succumb to it or engage with it.
We have every right to quietly stand our ground and let that person throw a wreck if they want.