They say holding onto anger is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. It’s true. It eats you up inside and it affects all areas of your life.
They tell us in order to let go of anger we need to choose forgiveness. Oprah says, “forgiveness is giving up the hope that past could be any different.” This is so beautiful and my most favourite definition of forgiveness.
“The length of time is takes you to heal is directionally proportionate to the length of time it takes you to accept things as they are. For it is not simply time that holds the power to heal. It is acceptance that heals.” – Raz Sous
I’ve been on so many sides of the anger, forgiveness, and acceptance coin. I’ve been angry with others, I’ve had to forgive them, and I’ve had to accept things as they are. I’ve had others be angry with me, some have chosen forgiveness and others have not, both times I’ve had to accept things as they are.
One thing I’ve learned is that the more you protect yourself and the more you hang on to the pain of anger or hurt, the more you keep it alive. Even if you think you aren’t. You can’t let go of hurt or anger by ignoring it, pushing it away, blocking it, or pretending it doesn’t exist. The energy stays alive until it’s released.
It’s helpful to leave blame at the door. When I feel myself wanting to rant then I know it’s time to dig inside and see how I am the same. When I find the common thread between me and another, all judgements are released and empathy takes over.
Once you get to empathy and understanding, the lights come on and forgiveness comes much easier.