I wasn’t a mean girl in school… I didn’t think.
I was on the peer support team, and I always seemed to be the one trying to help others when they were sad.
I was bullied by a group of girls in junior high and spent a lot of lunch hours and recesses hiding in the peer support office so I didn’t have to deal with them…or life. I’m pretty sure I never told anyone, I just avoided everyone.
I remember being in shop class one day feeling extraordinarily insecure, and one of the totally innocent and unassuming boys teased me about something. I took it personally and in an effort to protect myself, I lashed out at him.
He said right back to me, “I was told you were mean, but I actually thought you were nice and was trying to be your friend until now” and wrote me off.
I wish I had apologized, but I think my jaw was on the floor, he wasn’t the reason I was lashing out.
We can all be scary when we are scared.
I have learned the more we try to protect ourselves, the more we disconnect from others, which leads to more pain.
Protecting never works.
When nobody knows how you truly feel, they can’t help you the way you need it in that moment.
Loneliness doesn’t heal. Connection heals, and it happens when we are open and talking.
Let’s try not to be so scary when we are scared and instead lean into the pain and start talking to each other.