I’ve self diagnosed myself as a lover not a fighter, and a giver not a taker.
In my younger years I was focused on loving and giving. That’s all there was for me. There are some people out there who will suck you dry in these areas, but I didn’t realize that at the time. I just kept giving and loving because that was who I determined I was. I trusted that others would appreciate it and not exploit it.
It took me a long time to figure out that I was wrong. Without balance, I was teaching people that it was ok to expect me to always give more.
I’ve spent the last few years trying to balance all of that.
How can I fight for what’s right with love?
How do I know when I’ve tipped the tables of giving too much?
Perfect balance in every area is almost impossible to achieve. We are more like pendulums than balance beams. We go from one end to the other, we are easily black or white, but the perfect middle ground is hard to find.
Balance is much more of a big picture average than anything.
Most of the time I will fight for what’s right and get way too big and sometimes I will not be able to handle my emotion so I will say nothing at all.
Overall I’m finding balance, but if you look at each individual encounter… I’m still wobbly.
Sometimes I fight too hard, sometimes I take too much.
We need to practice a lot of forgiveness as we navigate new skills and try to achieve balance.