The more life experience I get the harder I work to become more compassionate and a better human.
I have used my struggles to understand myself and what its like to be someone else. Occassionally I take the odd walk down memory lane, and certain moments have me struggling with who I used to be.
I haven’t always made the best choices, I have closed my heart and pushed people away, and I have almost never been my best self in hard times. Flipping through my memory bank I can easily come up with several examples of where I wished I had made better choices.
I try to forgive myself quickly when I feel the stab of regret, not to make what I did ok, but because I make better choices when I’m my best self. The truth is I didn’t know better and I believed I was doing the right thing at the time. I allow these brief memory trips to serve a purpose. They give me a reason to do better in the future, to hone my skills, and to find more evidence as to why I want to be a better person. The feeling of regret is sharp and easily slips into shame. I would rather learn from it than repeat it.
I have wondered… when other people learn, do they sometimes feel regret?
Will the people who have acted from ego, wanted to see others suffer, and closed thier hearts, ever feel regret for their choices?
I imagine that they eventually do, which is why it’s important to always remember to be gentle with each other, even when we don’t agree with their choices.