With horses we search for and look for okayness as the goal.
When a horse is okay, he isn’t agitated, afraid, or reactive. He isn’t acting out, he isn’t dangerous or scary to be around.
When a horse is okay, he is content. He is exuding peacefulness, and calm and he feels very safe to be around because he feels safe inside.
I used to feel like being okay, wasn’t good enough.
I needed to always be great, or excellent. Riding the highs and lows. I was either upset, walking on eggshells, or full of anxiety, or I would be excited and over the moon happy.
I don’t know if I ever allowed myself to feel ok.
I didn’t realize how sensitive I was to other people’s energy and how I was soaking it all up.
I hadn’t ever worked on my emotional triggers to try and bring them to the light so they could be healed.
But now that I have I am happy to feel okay. I feel at peace, I feel whole, and I feel enough.
I have felt less okay in the last few months than I have in a long time. But I still seek okayness, I know that’s always the goal.
And today I am okay…. so far so good 🙂