How is it that I’m 41 and only just figuring out what a bully is?
Aggressiveness was so widely accepted in my circle for years, it had become normal…
I decided a few years back that I wanted to level up, and I started researching what that would mean exactly. I wasn’t proud of my life and I wanted to do better.
It’s been a journey and I would love to tell you all about that journey so far… but not today
Today I am mostly surrounded by healthy adults… where maturity is plentiful and aggression is rare.
My image of a bully was a big mean kid pushing a little kid around the playground. It never occurred to me that those kids become adults, and never learn any different,
In those moments when I am faced with a bully (one from my past or otherwise), I am flabbergasted that people still operate this way in the world.
I know empathy is a high level skill, but it genuinely shocks me when someone is operating with a complete lack of awareness for how their behaviour is landing on another person.
That’s how I define a bully, and for the first time in my life I can see a bully clearly.
It’s never ok to be forceful.
We are a community minded species, which means we are wired to want what is best for each other. Anytime we are forcing our opinions or agenda onto someone else, it’s our ego talking, not our true nature and we are being a bully.
If you are looking for a particular outcome and you’re not reaching it… you probably need better skills in communication, negotiation, empathy, compassion, leadership, or maybe even sales/marketing. Take it as an opportunity to learn… and to grow into a better person.
Aggression is never the answer… you look like a lunatic, and it shows complete disregard and lack of compassion for humanity.