I listened to Tim Ferris interview Brene Brown a while ago, and he asked her what her definition of success was.
She said it was too elusive of a word to define then went on to say, a man is top of his industry, makes millions ever year, has a shiny car and big house but his wife left him and he is estranged from his children.
In other words, nobody has everything perfect in life.
Then Tim said, true it’s very much like happy.
Can you define happy?
Pema Chödrön says humans tend to have confusion around seeking happiness. Like a moth to a flame, we move away from pain and struggle thinking it will make us happy… the moth thinks the flame is the light he seeks, we think the light we seek should be void of emotional discomfort.
I know for me, walking into and then coming through pain and struggle has always brought me more happiness than the times I have endured situations to avoid it.
The enduring was a form of denying myself… I had to be in denial about the real truth inside of me in order to endure, or the conflict inside of me was too much to bear and I would be miserable.
Avoiding the painful actions/conversations would trap me because it took away my ability to move in 360 degrees of direction… it was like not ever being able to head west.
When you trap yourself, you get lost and forget what is in the west that makes you happy.
But if you maintain your freedom of choice, by quickly removing the emotional traps, you can choose all directions of what makes you happy, and then choose them again and again and more and more.
They say happiness is a choice. I think that literally means we need to choose our happiness… and like Eckhart Tolle says, now is the only moment we ever have to choose.