There are so many layers.
Personal growth is never ending because it is a never ending journey to a deeper understanding.
You never get there.
But I think that’s kind of the beauty of it.
I can look at so many of different areas of life where I have grown and see the stages.
Christmas has had so many layers of growth for me I’m not even sure if I have an opinion about it anymore.
I loved it when I was young and it was magical. Then I spied on Santa and ruined the magic.
Then I became a teenager and slept in on Christmas morning. I remember the first time I did that and I felt a little bit mortified about it.
Then I became a mom and Christmas became a whole pile of work. Oh my goodness was the month of December exhausting. But the payoff was priceless. Luckily my oldest son is the most enthusiastic gift opener you’ve ever seen.
Then my husband and I separated, and Christmas was devastating because my kids would always leave for part of it. I started stressing about it in September and by the time December rolled around I was a mess.
Then I figured out that I was so focused on my own suffering at Christmas that I was ruining it for others (including my kids).
And in a moment I turned it around when i decided I wanted them to have the best Christmases and that became my focus instead.
Then my kids became teenagers and now they want to sleep in.
But it’s all going to be ok because this year feels like a miracle year.
For the first time in 7 years I will have them with me for (almost) all of Christmas.
I actually never thought this would happen again… it feels bit like a miracle, but mostly it feels a lot like it’s supposed to.
Christmas is about being with family to me, and although I have learned how to be happy and at peace by focusing on others instead of me… this one feels pretty good.
The morale of this story is…. no matter what happens and no matter what life or the holiday season holds for you rest assured it is just helping you to uncover another layer you can heal and gain a deeper understanding of what truly matters in life.