What happened the last time you allowed yourself to be vulnerable?
Hard question isn’t it? We prefer to ignore these questions and glaze over them. But just hear me out for a second.
Have you ever said, I’m really scared you might not love me anymore?
Or I’m so afraid to be left out because I’m struggling with where I even belong in the first place?
I have felt all of these ways, and more. We all do. But I don’t usually talk about it.
Have you ever voiced these universal deep seated fears?
Everyone is hard wired to need love and connection, and we are all deeply afraid to find out we aren’t worthy of it.
The struggle is very real.
My typical response to these feelings is to withdraw, pull away and block my heart. Some people lash out and become aggressive (I’ve tried this one too), some people try to please and appease (yep sign me up under this one also). Alas, this only exasperates our fears, and ultimately leaves us feeling disconnected and isolated. But at least then it is our choice…kind of anyway.
What I’m learning is, we need to move toward these feelings instead of hiding them. The only way to dissipate them is to talk about them with someone who empathizes.
These conversations will bring us closer, create deeper connections and love instead.
But they aren’t easy. In fact they are scary and hard to diagnose.
Some people won’t receive or handle it well.
Some people will turn it around and make you feel bad for feeling this way.
Some people will belittle or criticize you, and some people will try to fix you.
But some people will hear you and say, I’ve been there too. Bless these people they are pure gold.
We have all been there. And we will all continue to be there as we show up for life.
Remember this when you are on the receiving end of someone being brave enough to open up. Be the guy who says, I’ve been there before.
These conversations are so worth having.
Be brave enough to have them and see what happens next.