On some level you want to be better.
On some level you expect more of yourself, you know where you were slacking, and where you could have done better… but didn’t.
There is no positive payoff in this train of thought. Even though you believe these things, they don’t serve you, and they don’t help you to be better.
They only reinforce where you already are.
The alternative is to accept that you are a beginner, a novice, and a rookie in all things. The main goal is to show up and see if you can do a little better today than yesterday.
Sometimes you will get the results you want, and sometimes you will get exactly the opposite. But that’s ok because if you are a beginner, there is always another chance to learn.