I’ve been doing hard things this week and it has been consuming me. I’ve been operating in emotional survival mode.
When I am under emotional stress I almost always fall back into my survival modes. This usually revolves around codependency. I may fall into victim thinking, I may focus too much on others problems to avoid mine, I may feel I am responsible for all of the worlds problems, or I may do all of the codependent things at the same time.
I had no idea I had fallen into survival mode, because I was too busy surviving.
One of my kitchen cabinet people was also doing hard things this week.
Two people who are doing hard things and not practicing empathy very well should probably just avoid each other instead of trying to solve problems together. Of course, both of us were in our survival modes and unaware of it, so we didn’t even know to avoid other humans… I was feeling responsible for everything going wrong in the world, and my friend was controlling and blaming everyone in theirs … you might be able to see how this went down.
If not, I will give you a quick recap. I was feeling fragile, unsure, and sorry for myself and everyone around me, trying to keep moving forward and not wanting to, wallowing in the fact the world has all of these problems that I have caused. My friend, probably also feeling unsure, was bulldozing around projecting their every flaw onto everyone else and wanting everyone else to fix themselves so they don’t have to.
I received a laundry list of items from my bulldozer friend that I need to fix about myself, and I accepted it because I am responsible for all of the bad things when I am in survival mode.
I am sharing this story with you for two reasons.
The first is because there is a moral to this story. When we stop taking life so seriously, we can finally wake up and see how ridiculous it can be, and that we are causing a lot of extra problems by being consumed with ourselves.
The second reason is because maybe you are doing hard things right now too. If you are, I’m there with you holding your hand, and I want you to understand that you also are not responsible for everything going wrong in the world. That is your fear of ‘not being enough’ speaking.
You are enough.
You are a thousand times enough… let’s stop feeling like we aren’t, ok?