I know how important empathy is between people.
It creates deep connections, builds trust, melts shame, dissipates inadequacies, and keeps us humble.
These things are huge. When touched with empathy, even the deepest fears and wounds can begin to heal.
Because I know this, sometimes I find myself wanting so bad to empathize with someone, I try to jump right there without fully understanding the other persons story. (This doesn’t work by the way.)
If you don’t first get to a place of understanding how exactly the other person feels, and why they are feeling that way, you can’t possibly empathize with them.
You might feel sorry for them, make judgements and offer your advice. None of which is bad, as it all comes from compassion, but doing this is more about you, than it is about them.
Empathy is all about understanding the other person, which lets them know they aren’t alone, they have been heard, and they are still worthy of belonging.
So next time someone trusts you enough to share their story with you, ask questions, listen to understand, and then let them know they aren’t alone. This will be of more help to them than anything else you could do.