I woke up one morning knowing I was full of resentment, anger and bitterness.
I felt like people had made decisions out of my control, and they were wrong.
I spent months waiting for the chips to fall so I could be the one to say “I told you so” to all of the people involved.
The chips never really fell. And when I sat down and really thought about it… I didn’t want them to fall. That would just mean another round of devastation for everyone involved.
So I began working on forgiveness.
Forgiveness was a choice for me, but it was also a process, it didn’t come easily.
It meant accepting the way things were now. Period. And to begin looking for the good in what I was sure was a huge mistake.
And then maybe to admit this new way was for the best.
It meant understanding that all of the people who had the final say, had moved on with their lives, and would never know or care about my “I told you so’s”.
It meant unattaching my ego and self worth to the way I thought things should have been and allowing them to be what they were.
When I accepted all of this, that was when I gave myself permission to move on.
Only when I got to this space could I stop obsessing over what happened, and get back into enjoying all that was still good in my life.
Forgiveness is freeing.