I am a fixer.
Someone told me “fixing” was a male thing, not a female thing, but I can assure you it’s always been alive and well within me.
I’m not a fixer of my vehicles, or my appliances… I happily allow others to do those jobs… I am a fixer of people.
I want to fix myself, I want to fix someone else’s suffering, I want to fix a baby who cries, or a person with an ailment, injury or problem.
In these ways, I’m super helpful…as a matter of fact I decided to write a blog every single day directed towards my mission.
In part, my ambitious fixing attitude comes from understanding that nobody is perfect, life is hard, and we all do better when we have each other to get through the really hard stuff.
These are universal truths.
Wayne Dyer says “change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change”.
What if instead of viewing ourselves (and each other) as broken and needing to be fixed, we see each other as already whole?
I’ve heard so many other people talk about this, but I haven’t been able to embrace it because of my overzealous fixer mentality.
A few weeks ago, while I was in the hot seat with my mastermind group, we were discussing a lot of the fear that has surfaced in me over building the “living more whole-heartedly” course.
I immediately jumped to “this fear means something is wrong with me and how can I fix myself?”
The response from the group was, “I don’t think you need to be fixed, you just need to embrace the fear and dance with it.”
What a beautiful thought.
As I’ve been trying to figure out what that means to me, a little voice pops into my mind occasionally that tells me I only need to let go of judgement and lean into wholeness.
What I see as imperfection in myself is a judgement made from my ego, based on a comparison between who I am and who I think I should be.
In other words, I don’t have to fix myself because of my fears, and everyone has the same ones.
I just need to accept that the fear exists in me, honour the way it feels in me, and know that I am not my fears.
I am not my fears. They are just another feeling that is passing through.
What a relief.