I knew I was part of the problem, so I started working on “fixing” myself in order to have healthier relationships and a happier life.
There came a point where I had learned and healed so much about myself, that it had changed me into a completely different person. It didn’t happen overnight, in fact it took years as I had lots of toxic patterns and behaviours I needed to adjust.
I did so much of my personal work alone and things were getting better for me, but I was beginning to notice a strain on my personal relationships.
Things I used to think were normal or admirable in people or other relationships, looked different now and maybe not quite so admirable anymore.
I began to see when someone was upset with me and projecting their personal pain on to me and that maybe not everything was my fault.
I began to see that people who I had dearly wanted to be friends with, were in fact not making any effort to be friends with me.
It became torturous to watch people I loved still living in the same unhappiness I used to accept as normal.
I guess as you repair the broken pieces, the final project looks different than you anticipated it would in the beginning, while looking through broken eyes.
It also made it very evident to me, that you can’t do the work for someone else. If it’s only one person growing, you grow apart instead of together.