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I listened to an older Tim Ferriss podcast with Kevin Kelly.

Kevin spoke about an experiment he had done where he lived like he was dying.

He gave himself 6 months and counted down the days. 

He said the usual things about how counting down your days concentrates your time and helps you figure out what’s important.

But there was one thing he learned that surprised me and stuck with me.

He said that having hope and making plans for the future is where life comes from.

There is a lot of hype around living in the moment and living for today, and I think it’s important to enjoy and appreciate the moments, but since listening to that podcast I have a lot more appreciation for the gift of hope and planning for the future.

Not everybody gets that gift.

I don’t think to live like you’re dying is really all it’s cracked up to be.

Until you have clarity on what the problem is… you can’t stand in your power and stand up for what is right.

Clarity always comes first.

Once the lightbulb comes on and you stop doubting yourself, you stop wondering if you played a role, and you see how things should have been … you are in your power.

That’s when it’s time to stand up. Before that you won’t make the impact you need in order to make the change you seek.

It is not by chance that certain conversations light you up.

I homeschooled my kids, and when someone would ask me why, I would warn them…this gets me fired up, and once talking about it, I start I won’t stop.  

But the part that lit me up was not the actual homeschooling.  

The part that got me going was when I would start talking about how important keeping their individuality and knowing who they are was to me.

I was helping a girlfriend who’s husband had left her while she was away on a trip. He packed up and moved out while she was gone.  She was understandably devastated.  I started talking with her about who she was, and we were finding how this experience was going to help her figure out what was important to her.   

That conversation lit me up.

Another girlfriend had made a snap decision for the children without speaking to her husband first.  He was hurt and angry and not speaking to her because of it.  She was trying to find a way to tell her husband she loved him and how his actions were hurting her.  Together we worked on finding words she could say to him that helped her stay true to who she was, while still letting him know she was sorry.  

That conversation lit me up.

I think all of these conversations are connected.  I fall in love over and over again with helping people find their gifts and remember who they are.   

This is why I am writing this blog.   

I write because what is inside me needs a place to be expressed.

I share because I want to start conversations that lead to remembering our gifts and who we are.  Conversations that remind us to live life more fully knowing we aren’t alone in our struggles.  

What conversations are lighting you up?   I think there is a key in those conversations to help us to bridge who we are now, with who we are intended to be.

I’ve been reading Power vs. Force by Dr. David Hawkins, who has measured and documented energetic frequencies of consciousness, thoughts, people, places and things. In his research he concluded that “the difference in power between a loving thought and a fearful thought is so enormous as to be beyond the capacity of the human imagination to easily comprehend”.

This is important to know because you can make an impact simply by your state of grace.

On a personal level if you find a few truly loving thoughts every single day, you will easily counterbalance all of the negative thoughts you’ve had.

On a community level, consistent acts of kindness that come from love counterbalance a lot of the negative ones.

On a global level, the more time you spend seeking out love, joy and bliss within yourself through compassion, forgiveness, hope and courage, the greater counter balancing effect you will have on cultures that are enslaved by darkness.

I used to want to save the world.

I would get myself into all sorts of trouble and surround myself with all sorts of the ‘wrong people’ with my desire to help individuals who I believed were suffering.

Slowly but surely over time I have come to realize that the best shot I have at saving the world is to first save myself.

To practice forgiveness instead of regret…

To look for meaning instead of despair…

To seek understanding instead of disappointment…

To find love instead of blame…

and to learn how to be compassionate towards myself and all living things.

Through these simple but ‘oh so hard’ choices I can counterbalance exponential amounts of negativity in the world… can you imagine what we could do together?

One of the most amazing super powers humans have is the ability to adapt to our surroundings. It doesn’t take us long before whatever was hard becomes easy, whatever was bad becomes bearable.

I am always amazed at my body when I focus on being more active. It takes a couple of weeks and I feel stronger and improve my mobility and flexibility. This is true at any age, don’t let them tell you different.

The problem with our super adaptive powers is that we also adapt to things that aren’t healthy for us. If you never move your body, it begins to seize up because it has adapted to not moving.

I am all about showing up for life, having new experiences, and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. These are the ways we experience huge growth in life and times of growth almost always make for a good story.

But we must also be mindful about where we are not showing up, because we will adapt to that too. If we aren’t careful we normalize something that we never wanted simply because we have adapted to it. That can be a slippery slope.

I know how important empathy is between people.  

It creates deep connections, builds trust, melts shame, dissipates inadequacies, and keeps us humble.

These things are huge.  When touched with empathy, even the deepest fears and wounds can begin to heal.   

Because I know this, sometimes I find myself wanting so bad to empathize with someone, I try to jump right there without fully understanding the other persons story.  (This doesn’t work by the way.)  

If you don’t first get to a place of understanding how exactly the other person feels, and why they are feeling that way, you can’t possibly empathize with them.

You might feel sorry for them, make judgements and offer your advice.  None of which is bad, as it all comes from compassion, but doing this is more about you, than it is about them.  

Empathy is all about understanding the other person, which lets them know they aren’t alone, they have been heard, and they are still worthy of belonging.

So next time someone trusts you enough to share their story with you, ask questions, listen to understand, and then let them know they aren’t alone.   This will be of more help to them than anything else you could do.  

Before anything you need to define what you want.

Sometimes the way you arrive at what you want is by first figuring out what you don’t want.

No matter how you get there, you need to put a stake in the ground and decide what you want.

Once you get that ideal figured out then break it down.

What is the most important?

What can you compromise on?

What doesn’t actually matter.

As you read this I bet it sounds easy. But can you really define it in your mind?

Clarity always takes effort.

The good news is that other people don’t want the same thing you want in the same way. So by getting what you want, you aren’t taking from someone else.

But first you have to know what you want.

If you both are contributing the usually you can both have what you want and be better off for it.

You have to be honest about what you want. Without that you will reject everything that comes your way.

Today is going to be a little bit different than other days…

We are going to do a bit of housekeeping because I have a few things I want to say.

I feel like I should have the words to describe all of this, but there are some feelings that are harder to break down than others… and the words thank you never seems like enough.

I want those of you who show up for me everyday, and let me know you were here, to know how important you are to me. 

I am so grateful for you, but it’s more than that… I am relying on you.  

I post my blog every morning and then I check back relentlessly waiting for you to show up and hit the like button. 

I watch for you and I count on you and you never let me down.

I don’t believe that you resonate with everything I say, and I know you’ve seen spelling errors and bad grammar and terrible punctuation… but you still always hit the like button… it amazes me and fills my heart with gratitude every day.

I know I write some really personal things, and I am ok with that. I truly believe that’s how we connect with each other… if I’m not vulnerable we won’t connect…and connection is everything to me.
I genuinely never know if I’ve written something really good or really terrible.  I just write everyday to fulfill a promise I made to myself.  

When you like or share or let me know what you think, or that you’ve been here I use it as my only gauge that I’m actually connecting with someone and not just over here blabbing away to myself.  It matters to me.  

I write to share what I’ve learned in life, and I genuinely want to share it with you.
Sometimes I share what I write to teach, sometimes so I can process something and sometimes to figure something out for myself.

Never ever do I share something and hope that it stays a secret, or hurts someone, or that I don’t have to talk about it again.

I want so badly to hear from you…

I want you to ask questions, and if you see me in person I want you to talk to me about things I’ve written… especially if it struck a chord, it’s been on your mind, or needed further explanation because I didn’t  make sense… lots of the time I don’t make sense. 

I am trying to be as open, honest and trustworthy as I can be because I want to create an atmosphere for all of us to share, dissect, lean into and learn… and I know it starts with me.

As I get better at creating community and writing in a way that invites you to share you thoughts or with your friends, I hope that you will feel comfortable to do so.

Mother Theresa figured out how to keep her heart open to everyone.  She is an iconic leader who was known for loving every single human no matter who they were.

Unless you are actively checking in then without ever realizing it, you will close your heart.

Its the way we’ve learned to protect ourselves from emotional pain.

It is passed down through generations.

When someone hurts your feelings, when they treat you poorly, when they disregard your effort, when they don’t see who you really are, when they ignore you… you will block them from your heart.

And no matter what, when you close your heart, you are hurting someone else.

There is no justification in the world that makes it ok to close your heart.

But we all do it, because we focus on ourselves first.

You might be surprised to find that everyone is doing the best they can and wanting to succeed.

I have yet to meet someone who wanted everyone in the world to think of them as a bad person.

Somehow, somewhere, we are all trying to impress someone.

If you focus on keeping your heart open and seeing their humanity the whole picture changes.  But you have to pay attention, because without even realizing it, you will close your heart.

And when you do… you are hurting them.  And when you hurt them, you are hurting yourself.

I have a tricky ego.  

It doesn’t usually show up like the typical egotistical “I think I’m better than you” kind.

I don’t look down on others or think they are less than me.

My ego is prideful.
It thinks I have something to lose.

It shows up as insecurities.

It is a scarcity ego.  A self doubting ego.   A fear of criticism ego.

My ego expects me to do great things and leaves me feeling nervous at best, or shut down at worst,  because it assumes  other people expect me to do great things also, so it tries to impress them.

My ego thinks everyone has to like me, so I try to be who I think they wanted me to be in order to eliminate reasons they might not like me.

My ego thinks I have to uphold a certain style or appearance or I will be judged poorly for it.

When my ego perceives a “win”, it brags like I was special. 

“They laughed because I’m funny”.

“I did a good job because I work so hard”.

“I was able to figure that out fast because I’m smart”.

But none of this matters because 5 minutes later I would be back into my insecurities.

It’s can be a constant and humorous back and forth dialogue in my head when my ego is in charge.

As I’m learning to notice and let go of these egotistical expectations of myself, I’m noticing that I am able to show up much more authentically.

My feelings don’t get hurt like they used to.

I’m not as nervous as I used to be.

I don’t have to prove or pretend that I know something I don’t.

I am getting better at starting up conversations with people I don’t know. 

Criticism doesn’t cut like it used to.

Validation isn’t as important as it used to be.

I now make an effort to accept myself as a newbie, as an understudy, as a student and totally imperfect.  

“Pride blunts the very instrument we need to own in order to succeed: our mind. Our ability to learn, to adapt, to be flexible, to build relationships, all of this is dulled by pride.”  -Ego Is The Enemy, Ryan Holiday

I feel pretty lucky right now.

Not because life is working out perfectly…it’s not…I’m in the middle of a few messy situations, and they suck, and I would rather not be in them, but somehow I’m managing to stay in the moment most of the time, and this is a pretty new thing for me.

Back in my old life when I was walking on eggshells and felt like I was in survival mode most of the time, I was always trying to out think everything. You can’t live in the moment from that space, and it’s been a slow unravelling for me to step away from all of the thoughts and habits that I built in that life.

I saw the new Thor movie this week. It was quite enjoyable, and quite funny. Some of the funniest parts came from where Thor was in deep trouble and perfectly ok with what was happening. This is what it looks like when someone is in the moment.

I am realizing that being in the moment is a trait in people that I have always loved but didn’t know how to put my finger on. The best people are the ones that aren’t overly disturbed by life and just taking it as it comes. My mom is one of those people.

I am learning that my intuition is spot on when I’m in the moment. If I’m not manufacturing my own thoughts trying to control a situation, then I can receive and hear the intuitive messages that pop into my awareness. I fell into a moment of survival this week and started trying to control a situation…my intuition left the building completely.

I’ve noticed that when I’m living in the moment I might all of a sudden get the message that what I’m doing isn’t working, then it feels like I am teleported to the right path. All of the right people show up at the right moment to help me get where I need to go. It’s the craziest thing, but I shake their hands, laugh a little, gratefully accept their help, and keep moving forward.

On top of all of the little nuances I’ve already mentioned, there are two things I’ve noticed that have helped me to stay in the moment.

I need a direction to head towards. Knowing where I want to go and not knowing what I’m doing or how to get there is a blessing (who knew?) it keeps my opinion, and ego, out of the equation. When I am totally aimless I fall into survival mode way too easy.

I have to keep making choices and taking action without any attachment to anything which leads us to the second thing.

I need to keep moving forward. Being in the moment comes from flow, and there isn’t flow if we stick our feet in one spot. I don’t want to move forward all of the time, I have pain and tension in my hips right now because my feet want to stay stuck instead of pushing forward through this messy part of life (yes this is a real thing but I have never been able to feel the tension build up before).

One of my friends from my mastermind group posted a quote on Facebook the other day from Jimmy Valvano. This quote comes from an inspirational speech he gave 2 months before he died of cancer. I think he’s talking about living the best life you can, in the moment

“To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”
– Jimmy Valvano

I don’t know for sure, but I can’t help but wonder if maybe that’s why my tears have been flowing so freely lately. I’ve been following this advice and having some pretty great days amongst the chaos.

I am not sure how long it will last but I feel pretty lucky right now.

Inside your body is a combined intelligence that is greater than you can imagine.  We know pieces of it.  We breathe, we digest food, and we heal, without thinking.  But at any given time there are more chemicals, proteins, and hormones making things work than we could ever begin to comprehend.

Our bodies and their systems are extremely complex, and while science has done a good job at explaining it – there is still a lot of things we can’t explain or don’t understand.

You have 37 trillion cells and every single cell inside your body has its own intelligence.

Your brain is powerful… and your brain only has 100 billion cells.

Its a small portion of what your body holds… you are nowhere near tapping into the potential intelligence in your body.

The analytical mind lives inside the brain.

We are taught to out think and out wit the systems.

But if we only use our brain power to do so, we are leaving a lot of resources on the table.

Your heart sends more information to your brain, then your brain sends to your heart.

Your heart affects your emotional experiences, connection, and a coherent heart rhythm helps the brain with problem solving and creativity.

The more you can get out of your head and release old thought patterns, beliefs, and blocks – the more you get out of your own way and allow the magic of life to unfold.

The workshop I’m offering is designed to help you do that.  Today is the last day to receive the $50 discount.  (Click here for more information)

When you start to make the switch from the analytical mind to using the intelligence to make the choices in your life, you begin to attract the right people, opportunities and experiences to make everything come together.

You are already creating your life – but as you learn how to refine your creative genius you can create your life with intention.

That’s when things get really fun.

We heal in layers.

When a new layer pops up, it takes a while to recognize it.

These layers are never ending. Somehow we never get to fully know ourselves. Over and over again we find out new things about ourselves and surprises that we didn’t know were there.

We are complex and complicated. Usually we don’t have clarity on why we do what we do.

I’ve learned never to become too confident, the second you do new things show up that surprise you.

Don’t be surprised when someone doesn’t show up the way you thought they would – they likely have no idea why either.

The best we can do is the best we can do. The healing never ends.

Hidden in the harvest of air of fall is the ending of long summer nights and hot bikini weather.

Following the lead of Mother Nature and the seasons she brings we, begin to wrap up where we’ve been and open space for new beginnings.

Just for today let’s allow the way things were to fade away and look forward to a new beginning wherever it might show up in our lives.

Maybe your children/grandchildren are starting a new year of school.

Maybe you are starting a new hobby. Possibly you have a new business venture or idea.

As we leave behind the dog days of summer and get back into schedules and structure, let’s allow ourselves to embrace the new beginnings and the new adventures that are around the corner.

How do things look now?

Where have you been? What are the fruits of your labour? And how can you take those gifts forward to where are you going?

Sometimes I fight it.   Other times I dive in because I can’t help myself.  There was one time in my life I remember taking a break from it.  But I am always drawn back towards it no matter how I try to change my path.  

I have this huge underlying drive to uncover all of the why’s and how-comes of life.  

Is this normal or am I just a total nerd?   I honestly have no idea.   

Every once in a while I think to myself… Jodi, there are other things in life you need to know, so focus over here for a while.  

I will buy a couple of books on a new subject, listen to some new podcasts, and always come back around to analyzing it through my lens and looking for the blocks, whys and how-comes.  

The other day I wondered to myself … what is my major goal for this life?

I have always “loved” to the fullest.   

Lots of times I was going about it backwards.   

Some of the time I was making things worse instead of better.  

Other times I’m sure I was smothering growth.    

If I could “love more” or better than I do now and allow for growth in myself and the people around me and find a way to leave people in a better place than where I found them…that would mean a life well lived for me.  

Can I save the world with my personal stories of mistakes, doubts, insecurities, and struggles?   

I don’t really know,  but it’s been a pleasant surprise to see how it’s saving me.  

You always have a choice between resistance and acceptance.

You can resist what is happening in your life, or you can choose to accept it and see the silver lining.

When you resist it, you are likely to feel angry and bitter. What you resist pushes against you. It keeps you awake at night and on edge all day.

When you accept it, and align yourself with it, you open the door for change and possibility. Acceptance means you are willing to see what happens.

You can choose which ever one you want.

But you are likely to be more pleased with the magical outcomes that acceptance brings.

What I’m listening to:  The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown.   In this talk Brene Brown gives, she’s funny, and real and her message is important.  A friend recommended it to me because she loved it, and I also love it.  A lot.  

Quote I’m Pondering: “When jarred, unavoidably, by circumstance, revert at once to yourself, and don’t lose the rhythm more than you can help. You’ll have a better group of harmony if you keep on going back to it.” -Marcus Aurelius

Purchase I’m Excited About:  How To Live A Good Life by Jonathan Fields.   This book has been on my wish list since I started listening to his podcasts.   It is on sale on kindle right now for $0.99.  Get it.  You can’t go wrong.

What I’m feeling grateful for:  The people who show up in my life.  I love how the right people show up when you need them the most.   I’ve reconnected with good friends, and made new friends all at the perfect time.  

I love to hear from you guys!   Please let me know that you’re here, and share what you’re up to, or what is important in your world right now.  Let me know what you’re learning or loving.