I can see an evolution within myself.
When I was young, and until quite recently, I was afraid of authority. I was called to the principals office once in junior high because someone wrote a nasty note and signed my name on it. I remember it like it was yesterday. My knees, hands and voice were shaking, my mouth was dry, and I had a lump in my stomach.
I became a doormat in my marriage. I hated confrontation, I’m not a fighter, and becoming apathetic was the only way I knew how to keep the peace. I didn’t speak up. The only time I stood up for anything was when my momma bear came raging forth. There ain’t no controlling my momma bear.
In the last 5 years I feel like I’ve become an entirely different person.
It started with not rolling over when someone spoke harshly to me. I learned to separate who I was from who I was being told I was.
I worked at being on the high road and not allowing myself to stoop to someone else’s level. I decided the type of person I wanted to be, and I stopped allowing others behaviour to direct that. I learned that how they treated me was their choice and the type of person they wanted to be…I had a choice too. I wasn’t going to be like them…no matter what.
Slowly I started to realize that when you continuously choose the high road, one day it magically changes and the high ground begins to hold you up. The more you choose it, the easier it becomes to choose.
Over time, being on personal high ground and choosing the high road turned into a question as to why others weren’t doing the same. I started to stand up for fair treatment and doing the right thing. It surprised me to realize I had a voice that was heard when I used it from a place of high ground.
This has been morphing into a new realization for me. I’m finally starting to understand how important it is to do the right thing and stand up for the right thing instead of just remain quiet.
To stand by and watch, or ignore bad behaviour is almost the same as doing it yourself.
To allow a bully to continue to control a situation simply because I don’t like confrontation is another way for me to hide.
If I’m not part of the solution, I’m part of the problem.
I never used to be able to see a solution when I came up against strong, dominant or authority figures.
I have learned that love wins. It might take a little longer, but it’s a whole lot more powerful than any other force I’ve seen. When I’m faced with a tough person or a hard situation I am learning to ask the question, “how does love win here?”
The more I ask that question, the more I find ways to be better at responding with love.
You can sure tell the difference when I forget to ask the question, because love is definitely not the easy or natural response, but it is who I am choosing to be.
Plus … I like winning.