It took me a long time to figure out if the people I was investing all of my time in weren’t as invested as I was.
Commitment to someone skews things because we get so focused on what we are doing, we forget to step back and look at the big picture.
I’ve learned there are some universals “I care about you” guidelines that society follows, and now that I understand them better, I watch for them.
Do they allow you the time and space to do what makes you happy? Or do they sabotage the things you care about?
Are they supportive of your hopes and dreams?
Or do they criticize, ignore or make fun of them?
Do they listen to your struggles, fears and confusion?
Or do they interrupt and change the subject when you talk about them?
Do they respect your boundaries?
Or are you constantly having to remind and reinforce them?
Are they interested in you and do they ask about you? How was your sleep? How has your morning been? How are you feeling?
Or do they only talk about themselves?
Do they concede, cooperate, and compromise?
Or do they need to win at all costs with no regard for you?
Do they forgive you for imperfections?
Or do they reprimand every error or mistake?
Do they encourage you to be better, think differently and explore options?
Or do they revel in your misgivings?
If a person cares and realizes they are missing a few of these guidelines, they didn’t learn them and don’t know better. Someone who cares for you will do better once they know better.
Investing my time and energy into people who care has made it so much more rich and beautiful.
People who care about each other can do great things together.
Life is not a solo act. It’s a huge collaboration, and we all need to assemble around us the people who care about us in times of strife. – Tim Gunn