It took me a long time and a lot of personal work and healing inside to understand that the vast majority of people can’t see outside of their own reality.
When you don’t know this, You take everything personally.
And I did.
I thought everything someone said to me or about me… was about me.
Angry people were the scariest because they constantly blame, attack, and make accusations.
Now I can see that someone who is angry and wants to fight isn’t fighting with you, they are fighting with themselves.
They are looking to find someone to blame for how they feel, for how their life looks, or for what’s going wrong, and you are the scapegoat.
I wanted their anger to subside. I wanted to live in peace. I wanted to reform them to my way of life.
I was desperate to find ways to make the anger stop. I always tried to fix them so it would go away and I wouldn’t have to be in constant turmoil.
But then I began to understand that it wasn’t my job to fix them.
Your job is not to teach another adult right from wrong, good or bad.
It’s not your job to defend yourself or your life, they choose what they want to see.
Your job is not to win the battle, because you can’t…it’s ongoing inside of them.
Your job is not to fix them forever more, they have the agency to heal themselves if they choose.
The only thing you can do for them is to help release their suffering in that moment by taking away the resistance… not adding to it.
So you agree with them.
You leave all of your opinions and defences at the door, you don’t try to change their perception or their opinion, you just agree… even if you think they are wrong.
You might be surprised to find it will stop them dead in their tracks.
“For to win one hundred battles with one hundred enemies is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill”. ~ Sun Tsu