So many times I have let situations get too far out of control before I would put on the brakes.
I thought I was being kind and would allow behaviours to continue that I didn’t agree with or weren’t right far past my limit, trying to allow them the space to do the right thing on their own…and when I finally put my foot down to stop it, I was the jerk.
It would send me reeling back as I would think, “how could they call me a jerk? I have given way more than what is reasonable and long past my comfort zone?”
In the past this would have me loosening my boundaries even further, allowing them to carry on longer and exacerbating the cycle because I was never trying to be a jerk.
Somewhere along the line I’ve changed.
When my limits start being pushed I start communicating it and quite often this is enough to bring the situation back into alignment.
In a situation recently, my pleas were ignored, I put my foot down sooner than I would have ever done but still felt comfortable that I had given them the opportunity to succeed if they could.
I was very conscious not to set them up to fail, but also conscious to let them know my limits were being pushed.
I put my foot down, and I’m the jerk again.
But this time I’m not reeling back.
This time I respected myself and my limits.
This time I feel like I’ve been fair.
This time I’ve set my foot down before their problem became my problem too.
This time I honoured all of us…and I don’t think that’s a jerk thing at all.