I have high expectations for myself. And I’m not going to lie, they are a little bit unreasonable.
I wish I had the nicest things, the most fit body, the longest beautiful hair, be the very most loving compassionate person, be the best mom, who eats the healthiest meals, and the best writer who provides the most value to the people who read me. Oh and I think I should have lots of time left over to have a thriving social life and ride horses.
Not asking for much right?
When I don’t sit down and add up all of the things I think I should be doing better, I just feel bad about all of the places I’m falling short.
And that’s not even entirely true. I don’t feel “bad”… I feel shame for not being enough.
But here’s the thing.
In this frame of mind you will never be enough because you always want to get “there”.
Eckhart Tolle introduced me to Karma yoga. I’ve talked about it before as I struggled with getting ahead of myself in my work.
But I think it applies here too.
“So do not be concerned with the fruit of your action-just give attention to the action itself. The fruit will come of its own accord. This is a powerful spiritual practice. In the Bhagavad Gita, one of the oldest and most beautiful spiritual teachings in existence, non-attachment to the fruit of your action is called Karma Yoga. It is described as the path of “consecrated action.“ The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle.
Getting honest with yourself about your priorities helps. There are times in your life when it’s not all possible – that’s where I’m at. I am only human and I need to remember that.
So choose the most important ones and start there.
Then as Eckhart reminds us, it’s not about the results, even though we like to think it is.
It’s about the work towards the result. And you can’t possibly do as good of work, if your attention is focused on the results.
You do not need to drop your standards or expectations, but you might need to extend yourself a little bit of grace and remember to be grateful for where you are and what you have.
It never hurts to stop and look at how far you’ve come on the way to where you’re going.