I used to think sacrifice was a form of love.
So I gave up everything for my family. I gave up my hobbies, my self care, my free time, and even my vehicle and independence.
I did this for so long, that i started to break down.
I couldn’t remember what I enjoyed doing outside of my family, I couldn’t keep my eyes open after being awake for 12 hours, I started getting extreme anxiety from the fear of losing what little I did have, and I had a constant aching pain in my chest.
Fast forward a few years… I stopped sacrificing myself and became whole again.
This has always confused me because I love to give, help, and share. I wondered why some sacrifices felt like they sucked the life out of me, and others felt like love.
Then I figured it out.
I wasn’t only sacrificing but I was sacrificing at all costs, to the point of betraying myself.
There was no end to the sacrifices I would make. I didn’t have a limit, boundaries, or a line in the sand, I just put myself last over and over.
I wasn’t honouring my values or what was important to me.
Now I keep the things that matter to me sacred. I never compromise, sacrifice, or give a piece of them, in fact I feed and nourish those parts of myself at every opportunity I get. This is how I put myself first, by honouring what matters.
Everything else I will happily compromise on, make sacrifices for, and give generously to others.
Sacrifice is ok.
Betrayal is not.
The difference between the two is huge.
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha