I used to take everything personally.
When I was really little if you laughed because I was cute, it hurt my feelings because I thought you were laughing at me.
As I got older I was told I was too sensitive and that hurt my feelings, so I tried to be tough.
In my adult years I was still able to make pretty much everything about me, and have hurt feelings over it all until I was faced with someone who decided they didn’t like me.
They relentlessly called me names, attacked my character, made up stories to tell other people, they worked hard at vilifying me and genuinely wanted to see me suffer in every imaginable way.
For a long time this rocked me. Every tongue lashing felt like a blow to my head. I would feel sick to my stomach and shake for hours after.
Because I can’t help myself, I analyzed it all. I didn’t understand where it was coming from or how it was warranted.
The more you are exposed to this type of behaviour the more you begin to see patterns.
The more you understand the patterns, the more you begin to realize another persons behaviour has nothing to do with you.
I started to see the lashing out as a desperate cover up of truth that was trying to be covered up and fear that was out of control.
Over time I realized that I am not powerful enough to take peace away from anyone that desires to have it, but without even trying I can cause a reaction inside of someone who has deep wounds inside.
When I take things personally now, I know that I am the one who has wounds inside. What comes out of a persons mouth is not about me unless I make it about me.