It’s so easy to look at another person and wish things were different for them. I’ve spent a lot of time doing this.
When we don’t personally know the person mumbling to himself walking down the street it’s much easier to observe, but when it’s someone we love it’s so much harder.
If we have a family member who is in an abusive relationship, or buried deep in addiction, fighting cancer, or losing their dignity in some way, we look at the situation and make it about us. We don’t like what we see because it looks hard and hurts our heart.
Throughout my life I have always wanted to fix other people’s problems. I have carried the burden of others journey, and I have weighed myself down with other people’s struggles to the point of abandoning my own life.
It’s not helpful.
The more we focus on what’s not right, the more power we give it. I’ve had a few lessons this year in accepting others for who they are and the choices they’ve made. It’s helped me to accept the journey and trust that there are bigger things at play than what I can see.
There is a quote from Marianne Williamson that contains these lines, “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
Our light doesn’t shine when we are burdened, but especially when we are burdened by things we can’t fix. We become dull, tired, and we can’t access new ideas or creativity. We don’t bring new life to our surroundings.
I’ve discovered that the best way to show I care is to accept life the way it is. When I do this I can allow others to walk their path and still enjoy their presence, I can love more because I am open, and I can stay in the flow because I am ok.
Someone else’s life is not about me and it doesn’t matter if I like it or not.