There have been times I’ve thought perfectionism was my way of hiding. Instead of moving forward I kept spinning around trying to make something better and better.
Brene Brown’s research says perfectionism is the way we armour up. That is how it is showing up for me right now which is new. So I didn’t recognize it.
I have been doing my work in spite of not being perfect, but my self talk has been kind of ugly and critical, almost to the point of self loathing.
It has made everything harder than it needed to, and somehow it stole all of the self love I have been building – without me even noticing it.
If I had chosen to show up and be ok with my best (which was less than perfect), I would have been admitting that I wasn’t as “good” as I thought I was… and that’s a tough pill to swallow.
When I head down that slippery slope I stop taking care of myself. My nutrition goes down the tube and I start choosing fast and easy over healthy and nourishing.
I start using caffeine to push myself through instead of taking the time I need to rest.
I don’t feed my spirit or my soul with the things that make me feel alive.
In order to turn it around I need to acknowledge where I’m at and forgive myself.
I have to forgive myself for the times I wasn’t able to meet my own expectations and for the times I wasn’t able to be perfect even though I wanted to be.
I have to forgive myself for all of the criticism and the negative self talk, and I have to forgive myself for not being the person I thought I was.
Just for today, let’s forgive ourselves. Let’s forgive all of the times we hadn’t given ourselves a chance to become the person we need to be, in order to become the person we want to be.
Let’s forgive all of the times we didn’t finish what we started, we weren’t able to get the words out in the right way, and we forgot to enjoy the journey.
And hopefully, with a whole boat load of forgiveness, and mountains of self love, and oodles of acceptance, and a whole buncha willingness to move forward…we come back to ourselves and what is most important.
Sending my love to you all