I believed that deep down everyone was good, and they wanted to be good… so I naively trusted everyone.
But when I realized we have agency and we can choose our own behaviour, good or bad, I realized some people let their head get in the way of their hearts.
We are not built to be unfair and awful to each other, but that doesn’t mean we don’t override our operating system.
Life is designed for us to become the most honest, loving, generous version of ourselves, and the people who don’t figure that out struggle the most.
I was one of those people who would ignore my heart and get in my head about bad behaviour by others.
I would waffle between getting on my high horse and talking about what I “deserved” or didn’t “deserve”, and becoming apathetic because life wasn’t going my way.
But the truth is, “deserving” has nothing to do with anything.
Life happens.
People happen.
Things happen.
And they are continuously going to happen.
The first step is knowing what you’re responsible for and what you’re not.
You are responsible for you.
You are responsible for how you’re feeling.
You are responsible for what you’re thinking.
And you are responsible for how you treat others.
When you get confused and focus on what someone else feels, thinks or the way they treat you, you cause yourself the most suffering.
You are suffering because you are focused on yourself.
We do not have to teach someone else a lesson.
Life is designed to look after that for us.
All we can do is remember who we love and lovingly stand our ground on the high road we have continuously chose to walk on in the face of bad behaviour.
“The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud — the obstacles of life and its suffering. … The mud speaks of the common ground that humans share, no matter what our stations in life. … Whether we have it all or we have nothing, we are all faced with the same obstacles: sadness, loss, illness, dying and death. If we are to strive as human beings to gain more wisdom, more kindness and more compassion, we must have the intention to grow as a lotus and open each petal one by one. ”
― Goldie Hawn
Ps. I am building a course to teach big hearted loving people how to become whole hearted and fulfilled. I will drop you a line as more details become available if you sign up for my private email list below.