I feel extremely blessed to be going through a smooth patch in life right now.
And by smooth patch I mean generally speaking I feel ok most of the time… I’m hesitant to even say that out loud because it feels like asking for the other shoe to drop.
My anxiety is fleeting and almost non existent, which is huge. I don’t react to things like I used to and I’m finding it easier to stay unattached to outcomes trusting that the universe has my back.
I’ve noticed something lately… because my emotional state is level, it’s become odd for me to feel strong negative emotions. So when I feel emotionally charged about something, it means I have some inner work to do.
When I feel angry, scared or anxious, or even when my momma bear shows up… there is something in the situation that is triggering me and needs to be addressed.
Things that appear from the outside that it’s the other persons “fault” are the trickiest ones.
For example, I have made some pretty big relationship blunders in the past, and I’m scared to repeat the patterns. Instead of trusting that I have learned something through my struggles and having some compassion for my humanity, I am hell bent and determined not to make the same mistakes twice.
If I see elements of my last relationships in someone else’s… I get really fired up about it. On the outside it appears their relationship has nothing to do with me and I’m simply trying to protect my peeps. But is that so?
When I really stop to examine why their issues are upsetting me…I know I have a deep seated fear of missing the relationship red flags…so I’ve become a hyper vigilant red flag waver for everyone else.
When I get to the root of my over zealous emotions, which are always rooted in fear… I can usually discharge them and get myself back to neutral. From there I try to find some compassion for myself knowing that I have grown and I’m not the same person I was while understanding that I can and will still make mistakes (I strongly resist this part).
Neutral is the best place to be because that’s where I have the most clarity and can make the best choices for my own well being and fulfillment.
The truth is we can’t live our best lives caught up in the drama of our own negative emotions. You are always responsible for how you feel and any negative emotion is yours to own.
Looking inwards is the best way to find peace, compassion and understanding to release the pain and suffering we are causing ourselves.