I’ve made some bad choices in my life. I’ve done things I wish I hadn’t done, I’ve said some awful things and some things that weren’t so awful, but still so not ok. I’ve closed my heart off and shut people out. I’ve hurt others, and I’ve hurt myself.
After I would reflect on some of those choices I had moments that I thought I was a bad person and wallowed in the shame, wondering if I could ever be loved by someone again, especially if they knew how awful I could be.
It turns out I can still be loved. The best thing I did was tell someone else my mistakes and find out I was still loveable.
I am still making apologies and explaining myself and my poor choices. Just this week I found myself apologizing for bad choices I’ve made in the past.
I hunger for people to teach me how to love better.
There is a yearning deep inside of me that wants to always see the person and not their choices, the same way I was seen.
I’m reading a book right now called A Second Chance: For You, For Me, And For The Rest written by Catherine Hoke who runs Defy. I bought it because Seth Godin recommended it in a blog. This is what Seth wrote that caught my attention. “Defy works with men and women who were formerly incarcerated. They work with business leaders who are used to being treated with respect and privilege. And they work with volunteers across the country. Mostly, what Defy does, what Cat does, is help people understand that forgiveness is a powerful tool, one that’s easily overlooked. That when you’re busy holding a grudge, it’s difficult to open your arms to the possibility that’s all around us.”
Some of the people she works with have committed some of the very worst crimes, and she can still see the person beneath the actions. Her story is teaching me how to love a little more.
We need more of this in the world.
Share your stories of love. It inspires us to want to love more.