I have always believed deep down everyone is a good person. That we are born a blank slate and our life experience changes us.
I still believe it.
I used to believe I could love someone enough to unearth the good person that was lurking way below the surface.
I believed so much in love. And I believed that love could against all odds move mountains, make miracles and mend the broken hearted.
I was addicted to hope. Hoping someone would learn they couldn’t treat people that way, hoping someone would figure out it’s important to be kind, hoping someone would see the destruction they were creating.
The parts I was missing was that you can’t hope someone will change, and that the healing kind of love isn’t an outside job.
You can’t do someone else’s internal work. You can’t love their hurts away if they aren’t willing to face their hurts.
Maya Angelou said, “when someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.”
When I hear those words, I hear “let go of the hope, Jodi.”
People know their tendencies and know their capabilities and many times will even tell you who they are… if you listen.
I don’t want to try to prove them wrong anymore.
If someone wants to be awful or unkind, I let them.
I don’t try fight it, I don’t try to ‘teach them a lesson’, and I don’t invest myself trying to love them better… I just allow them to be who they want to be.
And I go on my merry way.