I have a friend who is extremely loving and has a beautiful heart.
But she’s been struggling and that struggle has led her to suffering.
We would have some great talks that would be very insightful for her and things were starting to settle down in her life.
One day she had decided she was being selfish because we had spent so much time talking about her struggle, so she decided to phone me with an agenda to solve my problems.
I value her wisdom, and she always brings me insight that opens me up to the bigger picture when I’m suffering…but this time I wasn’t suffering when she decided to fix me.
I was at peace with my life and tried to explain this, but she thought otherwise.
Our typical beautiful flowing conversation didn’t happen.
The more it went on, the more defensive I felt. Finally I shut down and she continued to explain my problem and her solutions.
I know she had the best of intentions. I’ve done this myself before.
I’ve walked into a situation with my own agenda to help someone.
But I have now learned, after being on both sides, we just have to meet each other where we are at.
Every day is different and every day we are different people.
We can’t plan, presuppose or presume we know more about someone else than they do.
We need to meet each other with an openness and a curiosity for each other every single time.
Then we can follow each other’s lead and offer insights and support to each other.
That’s where the magic happens.