It wasn’t that long ago there was a lot of hype about finding your passion.
So many of us get stuck in the doldrums. We spend so many years looking after everyone else, paying bills, running errands, and building a life that we completely forget about ourselves and what lights us up.
We find we really aren’t passionate about anything because there is so much we have to do. A lot of the time we are running around in survival mode.
I heard Elizabeth Gilbert talking about this one day and she said never mind what you’re passionate about, just follow your curiosity.
I think you have to feel alive to feel curious. By the time the end of the day rolls around it seems we are exhausted and far from curious about anything, other than where the pillow went.
I read something else the other day that piqued my interest about the subject again.
She was talking about envy. She said when you are envious of someone else, that is signal that they have something you desire. Which is true even when it comes to a skill, or a personality trait, or a goal we are trying to reach for ourselves.
The tricky part about that?
Envy isn’t an easily recognizable emotion, and it’s coming from a negative space.
Envy feels like you’re threatened because you aren’t good enough.
Envy feels like someone is more liked, more beautiful, and more ‘better’ than you. It feels like someone else is more deserving of something we don’t think we are deserving of, and we go into defence about it.
We start to make up stories about it in our minds and look for the faults to justify our feelings. It is all based on our perception and comparing.
But if we can recognize envy for what it is, before it takes us down the wrong road of fault finding… it can be a clue. Something to help us remember what we want and desire in our lives. Kind of like curiosity, but but coming from a different place.
A girlfriend of mine recently told me she doesn’t read my blog because it makes her feel jealous that I’m doing something she wants to do but can’t find time for.
I really admired her for telling me and for being aware enough of herself to recognize that.
I also hope she makes the time soon.
She’s lucky enough to remember… not all of us are.