Every time I show up in a new way in life I’m amazed at how clueless I used to be. Ego shows up differently for all of us but recognizing it and moving beyond it has been one of the most rewarding gifts I’ve given myself.
Yesterday we laid my Grandad to rest. The old me would have dreaded an event like this because of all of the faces and names and small talk the day would consist of. The me who was worried more about what other people were thinking and caught up in myself and my own insecurities.
Everyone wants to be seen but my ego wanted the world to see me and respond to me without me doing any of the work. I was always hiding in the corner avoiding the uncomfortableness. I didn’t know how to talk to people. I didn’t like the awkward feeling of a stalled conversation, and I couldn’t deal with my own insecurities.
I truly didn’t understand the enormous value of open hearted connection.
The new me did things differently yesterday. Brenè Brown says humans are hard wired for connection. Understanding that and really incorporating it into my life has changed me. My intention for the day was to cultivate as much connection as I could.
I genuinely appreciated every single moment I had with someone, even the ones I didn’t know. I said over and over how nice it was to see someone because I was genuinely grateful to make a connection with them. I asked millions questions, but the most regular one was “who are you?” (who knew this could easily roll off your tongue when you leave your ego at home?) I introduced myself all day long to make it easier for others to place who they were talking to, trying to remove any awkwardness in order to find connection.
And while trying to really see others, I let myself be seen…and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.
Connection is made by letting others know you care and when others feel that you genuinely care, they respond differently to you.
The new me saw a whole new world yesterday, where people were responding and opening their hearts, this is something the old me wouldn’t have recognized. I also noticed people who were like the old me and didn’t respond or weren’t ready to connect with everyone.
My intention was to create real heartfelt connections, but my goal is to build trust and to become the person who I used to look forward to seeing even when I was hiding in the corner. I owe it to all of the ones who would seek me out.
This is the time of year where we gather and connect with people we maybe only see once every twelve months. This is our chance to really practice the art of connecting with others because deep down everyone wants it, even the introverts and socially awkward. It’s neat to let that kind of energy do it’s magic and see where it goes.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou