For some reason that’s unknown to me, parents think they can’t show weakness in front of their kids.
I bought into this for a long time.
I didn’t want my kids worrying about “adult” stuff, I just wanted them to be kids so I never let on when things weren’t going well.
Over the last few years I’ve made some modifications to my theory.
Kids are smart, and they have a fairly good intuitive knowing about how the world should work and what’s right or wrong.
But they model our behaviours because that’s all they have seen. They respond to situations the way their parents do, and they use the same language and live in the same energy as their parents.
When I’m perfectly confident and ok with a situation I speak about it in a certain way, I respond to it with confidence and I allow leeway.
When I’m stressed or not ok with a situation I tighten up my tolerance, use different language and respond differently than I do when I’m confident.
Kids pick up on all of this behaviour.
If I’m tell them everything is ok, but I’m behaving in a way that doesn’t line up with my words, I’m not honest with them about the way I’m feeling, responding, or reacting.
I’m sending them mixed messages about life and making it harder on them to navigate.
So I’ve begun sharing with them what’s happening.
I’m very careful not to scare them, but I explain to them how something is making me feel and why I’m doing what I’m doing. I also openly talk about my weaknesses and strengths and sometimes we problem solve together.
I’ve discovered it to be a powerful tool to help prepare them for life.
My new friend Lee White said to me recently, “you don’t have to be nervous when you’re prepared”.
I would like to add Oprah’s famous words to his, “luck happens when preparation meets opportunity”.
Let’s give our kids a real chance to be lucky by being honest about ourselves.