Respect is the balance between fear and trust.
This was the definition given to me at a horse clinic.
For a long time I assumed that he was referring to the horse. How much they trust/fear you needs to stay in balance for them to respect you.
But loving teenagers has taught me fear and trust needs to be in balance primarily inside myself.
If you don’t respect a teenager, they aren’t going to respect you.
Fear.
If you are too afraid of upsetting them, or worried that they won’t like you… You won’t be able to build healthy boundaries. Which is huge with them as they are always testing limits.
Trust.
If you trust too much, they will push and poke and prod all of your buttons constantly, leaving you on edge most of the time and walking all over you.
But if you balance fear and trust in yourself, you operate from a place which balances it in them as well.
No matter what, it always seems to be about us…never the other guy.