My parents were really great about letting us make mistakes.
My dad payed my first speeding ticket for me. When I got in an accident he payed to have it fixed. When I broke the lawnmower, I was never in trouble.
So I don’t have strong inner dialogue about being an idiot or stupid when I mess up, which I’m grateful for…undoing that looks hard.
However, I can not bear the thought of making the same mistake twice. Especially if it was a really bad one. That is borderline paralyzing for me.
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.” I fully bought in and I was bound and determined to not be a fool.
I was talking about how people replay patterns, and quite often end up in the same relationships with different people over and over. I was scared to death of ending up in the same relationships I’ve been in before.
I drive extra careful. I don’t drink alcohol. I eat super healthy. These are positive manifestations… but all because I know the consequences and can’t bear them.
I have projected this onto other people also.
My ego would get super big when I see people making the same mistake over and over again. I would become way more upset than the situation called for. To the point where I put big walls of judgement up, completely lose touch with any understanding, and needed to walk away.
I was super impatient with the second same mistake, nevermind the third or fourth.
But the thing is, we are all human and doing the best we can.
If we are going to keep showing up, we aren’t going to be able to calculate and assess every situation perfectly before we jump in.
There will be mistakes. Plenty of them.
Sometimes they will be the same, but look different.
Sometimes it will be downright messy with mistakes, and that’s ok.
Making mistakes is better than doing nothing at all.
We only have this one life to live.