Newton formed a law that says for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.
I think we learned about this in junior high science class, if you were like me, someone taught it to you and you understood the concept, but had no clue how it applies to life.
What I did know was that I didn’t like it when it felt like someone was pushing me. Did I know this was Newton? Heck no. But I can see it now.
When someone pushes me, it immediately builds resistance in me, and I lose all of the willingness to move forward. I feel like planting my feet and crossing my arms in true adult fashion ?
Mom has always sort of channeled Newton and told me resistance meets resistance. I think one of her super powers is to tune into resistance, because she can see it very clearly and points it out to me when I’m trying to justify why my feet are dug in.
I’ve noticed lately that when you “go first”, you are put into a leadership role you aren’t expecting.
This is ok with me. That leadership role brings its own set of unique elements, like being asked questions to which you have no idea what the answers are, and results completely different than what you planned, but it also gives you the freedom to mold the direction you’re heading.
I’m learning having an opinion is important because it helps you figure out the answers to the hard question and it’s much more helpful to have strong opinions loosely held than strong opinions I’m clinging to (I stole that theory from someone, I wish I could remember who from, but it’s gold so I’m passing it on).
I’m also learning the value of working with people who care, and the immense frustration that comes from working with people who don’t. People who care jump in and help, add energy, and help lift the vision higher… people who don’t care suck the energy out of the project and deflate the vision. When you’re the person with the vision… that part feels like a sucker punch.
Leadership comes with a balancing act of handling expectations. I usually enjoy knowing others expectations of a situation because I can do a better job when that part is clear. I also think it’s fun to exceed expectations, I always celebrate when I pull that off.
Back to Newton…I have not enjoyed the expectations that feel personal to me and like I’m being pushed.
When I’m being pushed I face a huge internal struggle to not immediately react by crossing my arms and digging my heels in, which resists all forward motion, and ultimately brings on self sabotage.
I have learned that instead I need to pause and remember where we are.
We live in a world that is fuelled by scarcity. Everyone is working with the fear of scarcity and of this being “the only chance we have”.
The push from others comes from their fears when they are triggered.
It’s not about me, and it’s not helpful for me to fall into scarcity.
When I remember this, I can unfold my arms, undig my heels, and keep moving forward without self sabotaging.