When I started writing my blog over a year ago the part I loved so much about it was that I had a place to express myself.
I had finally found a space where I could be me without any outside influences.
I could wake up early in the morning and before anyone could get their thoughts onto me, and before the world pulled me in one direction or another, I had some time to just be with myself and write it down.
If someone didn’t like what I had said, or didn’t understand what I had wrote…it was too late, I had already shipped it into the world.
My blog taught me how to be the most unapologetic version of myself I had ever had the courage to be.
Lately, I have felt depressed and tired… conversations have been hard because my emotions keep choking me up, and I’ve had more tears stream down my face lately than I have in a long time.
Sometimes I know what triggers a shift in me, and sometimes I slowly start to notice things aren’t on track the same as they were.
This time was a slow derailment.
Sure life has had challenges lately, but I couldn’t attribute this shift in me to any one particular event.
Then it dawned on me.
I have been looking outside of myself for happiness and fulfillment.
This never works.
Nothing outside of us can ever fill us up.
At best it’s temporary and it always leaves us wanting more.
Wanting more stuff, wanting more food, or wanting someone else to love us more only keeps the focus away from our centre of being and disconnects us from our truth bit by bit, thread by thread, and piece by piece.
This is how I’ve been feeling lately, and I couldn’t understand why I was wanting more than usual.
When we deeply connect with ourselves, and we feed our soul with the attention it’s seeking, slowly all of the wanting disappears.
Writing is the best way for me to do that.
I watched a clip Jim Carey did about needing colour in his life, I could relate. (Watch it here)
It’s so important to stay connected with and express our true selves.
We are meant to create.
We create art, we create connection, and we create our lives and our best work comes from expressing our most vulnerable and human selves… and that is also where we find the most colour in life.
Fulfillment always comes from within.
You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now.” – Wayne Dyer