I used to react to feedback in a way that undermined myself. I was always looking for approval from others and if someone saw me differently than I saw myself, I thought that was immediately bad.
I was a big open wound waiting to be stung.
For the longest time I wasn’t sure how to assimilate all of the opinions the world held, but the more I started to figure myself out, the more I was able to take feedback from others and use it to improve my communication and presence.
I’m beginning to see that we understand who we are through the eyes of others. There comes a point where we need to reflect to others what we notice to help them understand themselves also.
It’s helpful to recognize greatness in other people and let them know.
Feedback is a skill and it’s not always easy. I struggle to get the words right. Words are so important.
Sometimes we don’t use the right words in the right way to share our message in the way we are intending. Sometimes our words don’t land on each other the way we think we they will. Sometimes other people don’t receive compliments well or we hit a nerve without intending to.
It’s hard and it’s important to forgive others when they don’t have the right ones, but it’s also important to choose our words wisely.
Feedback is done well when it is generous and thoughtful and delivered with empathy.
I’ve learned that if what someone is doing is pushing my buttons, it’s best to keep my feedback to myself until I sort out why I’m being triggered and the hot spot has cooled down.
We have the most impact when we deliver it while ‘feeling the love’ at best, or when we are ’emotionally neutral’ at worst. We don’t have any impact when we are having a temper tantrum, or too strong.
There is a bit of magic that happens when you point out someone’s ‘super power’ who hasn’t yet realized it for themselves. They start to see the world differently.
To hold someone in the light of their greatness helps them to become more of it. Search for greatness in others and look for the clues within others feedback to better yourself.
There is a whole world of code waiting to be revealed from the eyes of another.