I used to let everyone else tell me who I was.
I would look for approval on whether I was doing the right thing or the wrong thing from the person I was directly involved with. I would take their response and determine whether I was a good girl… or not.
For a very long time the people I sought the most approval from were scared and hiding, who didn’t approve of anything new or brave, who didn’t “get” me, and couldn’t see past the end of their own nose.
Their approval was impossible. This was a mirror for me.
Being on my own forced me to make decisions about who I was, the choices I was making, and the way I want to show up in the world because hiding wasn’t a viable option.
One of the lessons I have learned is to be very clear on my intentions before I act, especially when I’m doing something new or seeking to make a change in the world, knowing that might not be readily accepted by others.
To gain clarity and find my footing before I start, I ask myself a few questions…
Does this thing matter?
Could what I’m about to do bring the change I’m looking for?
Am I prepared to keep chipping away even if I meet resistance in others?
I believe that love is powerful and love wins, so while I’m gaining clarity I don’t do anything until I’m sure that it is fuelled with love.
Mom has told me several times over the years to not attach myself to the outcome, so while carrying out my mini missions I simply watch for a change. Sometimes things change quickly and sometimes they change slowly, but eventually there is always a shift, we are dynamic and always responding to our environments.
This perspective has changed everything in me.
Now I don’t take the reaction of the person I’m interacting with personally. I don’t allow their response to determine if I’m doing the right or wrong thing… because I already pre-determined that I’m not doing anything wrong.
I understand that it’s possible, and quite likely, to meet resistance in others when I’m seeking a change. I am learning to allow them to work through their resistance and all of their no’s… meanwhile I keep chipping away at the door, coming from love, and firmly believing I’m not doing any harm and things will be better.
Seth Godin tells us we need to solve interesting problems.
A “problem” is anything that is unhealthy, not functioning well, causing hurt, or is antiquated and needs updating.
The solution is love.
The path is unclear.
And we can solve the problems or be an agents of change by continuing to show up and bring the light with us.