I held my babies all of the time. I snuggled and loved on them. I let them fall asleep on me and let them sleep with me.
When someone else would hold my babies they would quite often comment that they were very cuddly. They were fat and juicy and had a unique feel to them.
I thought all babies felt like this when you held them. It’s all I knew and I certainly wasn’t holding other babies at the time to compare. My babies were pretty much always in my arms and since they weren’t lightweights my back was sore and my arms were too tired to be holding other babies.
10 years after my first baby, my girlfriend had her babies. By this time I had held a lot of babies, but hers were the first ones that I had ever held, that had that same feel that mine did.
They snuggled in and oozed love.
I immediately recognized that feel. It was the first time I had felt another moms baby who felt the way my babies did. It was so surprising to me I haven’t forgotten it. Until then I thought the way my babies felt to me was because of my bond with them. But her babies changed my mind about that.
My moms dog makes sure to always come for a scratch and a nose bump when you see her. She will fold herself inside out if you lean over and scratch her. She’s extremely loyal to Mom but doesn’t miss a chance to connect with other people for a second. Not all dogs respond to people that way, many are standoffish, some completely ignore you, and others think you are the mailman.
I’m riding my dads horse these days. He makes sure to stand very quietly until you are near his head, then he turns in and gently and sweetly snuggles in. Most horses turn their head away.
When a living being is openly and affectionately and unconditionally loved in all ways (emotionally, physically, spiritually) from the start, it learns how to be loved and how respond to love on all levels.
When that being is not openly and unconditionally loved in all ways from the start, it doesn’t recognize love that is being showered towards it. It feels like a wall or barrier or rejection to the us when we are extending love towards it because it’s not responding.
When we respond to loving gestures and return that love with an open heart the love flows freely and it feels like a love bubble. It’s a deep and warm feeling that surrounds you.
If you weren’t loved from the start, you won’t recognize the soak in love when it’s given to you. But you can learn how if you start by loving yourself. One small unconditional piece at a time.